Death by axe murderer???

I absolutely hate those nights where I fee really uneasy, and scared that I'm going to get chopped to death by an axe murderer. I didn't go to sleep until after 5 a.m. I just laid there. Then I still woke up around 10. Sometimes I really wish I didn't live alone.

Started some cleaning, around 2 I started my pot roast. I'm nervous that since I started it late and I had to cook it on high that it will be dry. I could always switch it to low, but then it wont be done till like 9. I got a call from the day care that T was sick, and to go pick him up. I felt so bad for him. He had a really bad fever, so I figured I would do something to make him happy. What better than a Happy Meal. I actually ordered a burger too. It was not very good, and it made me vomit. My brothers fiance picked up little man soon after we got back to the apt. I feel so bad for him, I hate seeing him like that.

No gym today, my legs are killing me right now. The guy is supposed to come over in about an hour. I'm just so tired, I was hoping to be a bit more awake tonight. Possibly going to an auction tomorrow. Who knows?

Finally the money to all my accounts has posted. I noticed that for my federal return it is about 300 less than its supposed to be. So we'll see what happens with the state, and if its not there I'll have to call the IRS again. I swear I hate talking to them. Just a thought, maybe I'll get part of it later because that is supposed to be how much my "stimulus" package is? So now I can finish paying off the cards, yippee!!!

Ass-Kickin

I woke up this morning and man was I stiff. (If I were a guy, that would have been funny). My legs are nice and tight. So I did some stretching. I did not want to wake up, so I had two big cups of coffee. I really only drink the stuff when my body has issues with returning to reality.

Breakfast was 1 egg, 1 egg white, with a sprinkling of cheese on an Ezekiel tortilla. Those tortillas are flourless and packed with protein. I've realized that throughout my day even though I'm only averaging 1200 calories, over half are carbs. So I'm trying to incorporate more protein. Also, eating more actual food, and less bars is a goal I'm trying to accomplish. They do give me all the proper nutritional benefits, but usually I'm still hungry.

Just left the gym now, I went on the cross-trainer for an hour, burned 715 calories. Very proud of myself. I've been doing pretty good about kicking my own ass lately and not just stopping when I get a little fatigued, I keep going until the goal is accomplished. I was thinking about going running outside again today, but Im just worried that my bones are going to splinter up again if I rush into it too fast. So I think I'll wait a couple of days to let them recooperate before going at it again.

Now its time to get ready for the work, gotta be there in 1 1/2 hours.

Picking up shifts

Earlier the guy and me went to get some food. We stopped by this awesome antique store first. We are definitely going to go back another day since they were about to close when we got there.

Then it was onto get some sushi. It was a bad experience. We had to wait almost 45 minutes for our food. It was already past 6 so we just cancelled our order. I had to be at work at 7. I'm still here.

Day started off awesome though. It was super nice. So instead of the gym I went to the park across from my apts. I actually ran. Ran about a mile. It was actually enjoyable, unlike the treadmill. Going to do it again tomorrow. I also did some BCT favorites, 30/60s. Going to do some yoga when I get off work. Then watch "smart people" and then crash.

Daily Eats

B-fast

• Oat Bran with 2T polaner

Snacks

• Coconut Cream Larabar
• 1 T hummus ( I was in a rush)
• Yoplait Light-White Chocolate Strawberry, (yummy)

Dinner

• Baby Spinach Salad with grilled chicken, apple slices, roasted corn, onions, mushrooms, feta cheese, tomato wedges, pecans, and a pinot noir shallot vinegarette.

There was no real lunch, should of made something, but between the running around (literally) then I didnt get the would-be yummy sushi. I've been off work for a while now, currently watching Smart People. Its okay, nothing special. I'm going to bed after this movie ends.

Fat Tuesday can suck a Fat One

I was at work till just now. Honestly, don't these people have jobs to go to in the morning? Who the hell parties on a Tuesday, and Tuesday is always our busiest day of the week. Damn $2 Pint Night. I am exhausted. No work tomorrow, and the cleaning is minimal. I will definitely be sleeping in.

I was reading my Favorite Blog earlier, and she asked a question about what everybody was giving up for lent. I'm thinking to myself what can I give up, and work to improve myself on during the next 40 days?

I have come up with these 3 things:

1. STOP late night snacking
2. No more diet coke
3. Yoga EVERY day

Although I am not religious, I figure this to be a good time to improve myself. I think this because others will be doing the same thing, which in turn makes it easier. Also, if I can manage to go without cigarettes I can live without diet coke. I remember just a few weeks ago sitting around smoking my cigarette while drinking my dc. haha

I would also like to add that ASHLEY, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!! ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!!

I believe it is bedtime now.

ehhhh

I should start getting ready for work right now. It normally doesn't take that long, but I've got to iron my clothes as well. Today hasn't been that mad in the cigarette department. Yesterday was tough. I think I pissed the guy off with my grumpy disposition.

B-fast was a bowl of oat bran with chocolate protein powder, handful of granola, and some almond butter. I think I overcooked it a bit. Next time I'll just use some polaner as a topping. Oat bran is very similar to cream of wheat, only MUCH better for you.
Worked out today. 45 minutes on the cross-trainer on the interval setting. Wasn't hard. I just didn't want to be there. I then did a killer ab workout, and a medium intensity arm workout.

I really need the hours at work, I just want to be lazy today. Its mardi gras tonight so I know we'll be super slammed and I'll be there all night. I just want a day job, I'm sick of not getting to make plans ever because of my freakin low paying job. I just keep telling myself, that it'll all be over soon and my new job will start next month.

Losing my cool

The not smoking thing is really starting to get to me. My jaw actually hurts from chewing so much gum. Not to mention I have bitten my tongue twice in the past two days. I still keep eating, also I didn't go to the gym. So here is my recap on the day.

• Woke up at 9, ate cereal
  

• dropped T off at daycare at 10
• went to Target
• Picked up tipshare from work
  
• picked Trendon up at 1 for a doctors appt.
• Ate, Arbys-so ashamed
• Doctors appt
• Brought T back to daycare
• Home Depot, I bought a star-key.
  
• Came home, snacked, played online.
  
• Continued to snack-almonds and dried Apricots
  
• Back to home depot, got paint swatches
• Went to Ear x-tacy and got 2 cds, and a movie that I love, "Once"
• Heine Bros Coffee, got my usual India Asaam Tea.
• Drove around
• Home again, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches
• Currently killing some Stride gum, while typing this.
• About to go watch Once with the guy at his place.

Those are the 4 colors I narrowed it down too. I put them on the cabinets to see what the contrast would look like. There are so many cabinets in my kitchen it is overwhelming. I like the pinkish/orange, and the olive the best.

Money miracles

So I have 3 different checking, and savings accounts. Then 3 different credit cards, and 2 separate investment accounts. That is a lot of checking up to do online... While searching for free apps for my iPhone I found Mint. Just go to the website and it shows you all your accounts, cash to debt ratio, budgeting tools, net worth, and ways to to save money based on your own spending habits. It is easily the best finance tool ever. HERE is the site. No lie, it rocks.

NOTE: You don't need the iPhone to use this. The iPhone app is just another way to check the site.

Besides that, I ran a few errands with the guy in the afternoon. After all that I went to pick up T from his moms. She wouldn't give him back to me, and since she doesnt have primary custody I had to call the cops. I also recorded my entire conversation with her and her drugged out brother and boyfriend. So I hope it will be admissible in court. My brother has been fighting so hard to get custody of my little man. He completely deserves it. The mom is a total druggie and just sucks at life.

Today was definitely the ultimate test. I haven't mentioned this for a few reasons. I quit smoking. It has been 5 whole days. Normally I smoke when I'm hanging out with friends. I really don't hang out with anybody anymore so I pretty much nixed that aspect. The second place I almost always have a cigarette in my mouth is while I'm in the car. So todays 1 1/2 hour car ride each way was rough. Especially on the way back. I was fuming mad. I keep munching on gum. I have noticed that I am eating more, which I'm really trying to note when I'm actually hungry and when I'm just trying to fill a void so I wont grab more food.

The main reason I didn't want to say anything is that I don't want to be one of those people that seems to quit every other day. So I wanted to make sure I could last more than a few days. I know that the carbon monoxide starts leaving your lungs within 24 hours, and the nicotine is completely out of the system in 3 days. The rest of it is all mental. It really is the mental part that kicks peoples asses. I know that I am strong enough to handle this....COLD TURKEY.


UPDATER: I can't stop eating, wtf. all my hard work at the gym is going out the window. tomorrow morning I'm going to dedicate at least 2 1/2 hours to kicking my ass into shape. I need more gum.

Saturday Night Blues

I went up to the furniture store again today. Picked out my new coffee and end tables. I think next weekend I'm going to Ikea. The closest one is almost 2 hours away in Ohio. I'm going to try to get the guy to go with me. I also told the furniture store, about the issues with my dining set and chairs. So now I've got to wait till the 9th for them to come look at it. I am just so sick of this place. I am never buying anything from there again.

That was lunch: yogurt, grapes with goat cheese, and pecans. I really think goat cheese goes with everything.

Work was pretty slow. There was a new host, that I "trained", which basically all we did was play on our phones. I'm kind of pissed though. The guy is cool and all, but I'm only getting 3 shifts a week as it is. He got the job because he is cool with 2 of the other guys who work there. It was so dead, so they let me go after only 4 hours. Not complaining though.

I was so hungry at work, and I was about to order some wings for myself. I told myself NO, and just came home and made THIS:

It is hummus, baby leaf spinach, cucumbers, and tomatoes on an ezekiel tortilla. It was yummy, but I was craving something with some protein. So I grabbed a 2.6oz packet of tuna, mixed it with 1 tsp of Veganaise, and some relish. I am now very content. Well sort of, I'm craving social interaction. That is not something food can fix. So I am considering going to Heine Bros for an India Asaam Tea.

Italiono Dinner

On yesterdays post I mentioned I would give an update on how the 20/20 workout was. I am sufficiently sore. I actually managed to get up around 9, so I thought, "hey, I'm awake and there is a yoga class at 10:30, why not go?" Yeah, I fell back asleep.


RECAP ON YESTERDAYS DINNER
Work called when I was in the middle of cooking. I politely told them I couldn't come in. The guy was a little bit late getting here. All the food turned out pretty good. He really liked the eggplant. I thought it was missing something. I didn't manage to get a pic of the eggplant, they were so beautiful when they came out of the oven. Then we hung out for a bit. He had to work today in the day time and I have to work tonight. We looked and there is an awesome auction tonight, but it starts at 6. He told me is going to go. I really wanted to go. Gotta make that money though.

After he left last night, I had the last piece of eggplant. I doubt they store well. I added goat cheese to that. OMG, it made it perfect. I don't know why I didn't do that before. My favorite salad incorporates both those elements. It is from Carrabbas and is called the Fiorucci. GET IT.

I really should go workout, and I definitely have time before work I have to go into work. I figure I'll be lazy for another half hour, then go.

Driving Doggie

Went up to my favorite store big ol' WHOLE FOODS. Saw this and just had to take a pic. Thought it was just pretty darn awesome. Got all the stuff to finish off my dishes for the night, and a few necessities like paper towels, which happened to be made out of 100% recycled paper.

I didnt go to bed till almost 5 A.M. I got caught up watching one of my all time favorite movies, CASINO. It didn't disappoint, never does. Still woke up at 10. Went and picked up my tip-share.

Then headed off to the gym. I was determined to make this a good workout. So I did the mountain setting on my cross-trainer at level 10. AYE AYE AYE. At my gym they have these set of machines grouped together with a giant timer overhead. Its 20 machines. You do as many reps as you can for 45 seconds, then it gives you 15 seconds to switch machines. So 20 machines, in 20 minutes. Works out your entire body. I will give results tomorrow. I hope to be decently sore.

Made it home. I showered, got pretty, and did the first step in the polenta process, so it is chilling in the fridge right now. It was actually after this that I went to WH. I finally put away all the laundry, I am honestly so proud of myself. I've accomplished quite a bit today.

I am just hoping that the dinner tonight goes good. I'm nervous that I'm going to screw it all up. I'm going to do some last minute cleaning here shortly. You can bet that I will be taking pictures of my dinner tonight. I'll make sure he is in the other day. I doubt he knows about my blog, and would probably think I'm odd for photographing food.