Monday, March 9

When it rains, it pours

What about me just screams "UNDATEABLE" So me and the guy aren't talking anymore. I knew the chemistry wasn't there so I had to buck up and have the uncomfortable conversation. It happened over the phone, so I'm still kind of a wimp. We went to see Watchmen, and the entire time I kept thinking of ways to bring it up on the ride home. I made sure to drive back to my apartment. He didn't come back up to my apt, I just let him out at his car. Then when he didn't even kiss me when leaving the car, I just drove off. A few minutes later I called, and everything I planned on saying got thrown out the window, and his answering the phone with, "hey". Was met by me saying, "Do you even want to be with me?" in a very pissed off voice.

So, all that jazz happened. Not going to go into specifics, but both of us still want to be friends. We'll see if that actually happens. I honestly wouldn't mind being just friends because he is still awesome to hang out with, and since the chemistry was never there in the first place it should be easy. It'll basically be the same thing we have now, except for that un-talked about pressure. Which we both agreed that it was there. We're driving to Ikea next weekend.

The only parts of the conversation that I found to a little weary. At one point he said something about still seeing me because I don't know anybody here. If you take away that lovely sugar coating, he was saying that I was a "pity-friend/romance/fuck". This brings me to another lovely point, why do people always want to be just friends with me. I get it, you don't find me attractive. If that's the case, in which it generally is, just say, "hey, this isn't really working for me, and I just don't want to see you anymore". Or even better yet, don't start seeing me in the first place.

I'm not sad about him, mostly because I'm the one who initiated it. I'm just upset that this situation in general always happens to me.

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