Friday, March 20

Blank Walls, Blank Canvas

Work today was simple and easy. I got a day shift, so I got off at 4:30. I spent some of my afternoon with Paul and Trendon. I am really beginning to miss home. I know it sounds sad and pathetic, but I just want to curl up on my moms couch and watch HGTV with her, or hang out on Larissas porch and SMOKE.

My only friend here is somebody that I sort of dated for like a month. He's a good friend to me, and I'm very thankful for that. Right now everything just seems so screwed up though. My legs are in PAIN, and I don't mean the take a couple days off, stretch, and motrin will take care of it, kind of pain. They hurt, and my insurance company is fucking me over. So now I'm trying to deal with them, and now since they are doing this shit. I'm going to apply for a med-board with the VA.

Every little thing I do hurts, pushing my clutch down, walking up my stairs, having to stand more than a few minutes. So at work I look for every opporotunity to sit that I can. I already know that I've got to stop on the cardio for a bit. I've got a doc appointment tomorrow, and one on monday or tuesday with my orthopedist. So we'll see what goes on. I'm also getting hell from my financial aid office at UofL. I swear, can I catch a freaking break?!?!?!?!?

I took down all the pictures and stuff from my walls. Started my decluttering process. I am getting rid of about half my purses. I'm also making sure to use up all the "almost empty" bottles of whatever from under my bathroom sink. Now is not the time for me to be wasteful.

I really want to tell my bosses to take me off the schedule for a week so I can just relax a bit, but I can't afford that right now. I also need to do it so I can take care of a whole bunch of errands. Like actually going to the VA, financial aid office, apartments.

I'm so freaking stressed out. I just want somebody here to calm me down, and tell me everything is going to be okay.

Oh, and its been exactly 1 month and 2 days since I quit smoking. Go me!!! I know that its stupid to base this on my current situation. But my life was in a lot better place when I was still smoking. My legs felt great, I wasn't having tons of money and apartment issues, I was still seeing the guy, before he turned into the friend. If anybody actually reads this, some encouraging, "dont smoke" calls should be coming from yall to me tomorrow.

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