Friendships....

I wish there was some type of proper guidelines on friendships. I seem to lose them all the time, as if we were walking down the street together and they fell down a man hole or something. Then others, seem to pop up out of nowhere.

So the guy and me are going to try to be friends. Seems to be working so far. He called me tonight and we talked. I was telling him about my living situation with my bro and how he is leaving to go to Ft. Stewart for a few months, and I'd have to come up with a LOT more rent money. Also, how I was looking for a roommate and posted an ad on craigslist. I really don't want a roommate, anybody who knows me, knows how well I do with them. So he recommended just looking for a much cheaper place. Which I did once I got home, and I talked to my bro about all this, and found out that he has official orders that send him down to GA. Therefore he can get out of this lease.

The whole lease thing was the main reason for my apprehension. I didn't want to leave and screw my brother with dealing foot the bill for that extra money. He is the only one on the lease, not me. So this way we can both safely get out. I already found a lot of great places that I put into a lovely spreadsheet by price, location, description, deposit fees, and whether they allow pets. Tomorrow me and Paul are going to talk about the apartment situation over lunch.

The guy is looking for a new apt as well. Its going to be pretty odd with both of us looking for separate apartments together. This is my first time trying to be friends with somebody I've been with, so I'm not quite sure on all the rules yet.

ANYWAYS

Yesterday I started my day off kind of late. Hit up the gym around 2, got in some cardio and then a pilates class. May I add that the pilates at my gym is much better than the yoga. I went to Kashmir and got the Malai Kofta, and a tandoori roti. It was delicious. I took a pic, but it is too blurry to even recognize.

Later I went to see Watchmen in IMAX. It rocked. After that is when all the bs from my last post happened.

Nothing exciting happened today. Got to see my little man T for a while. So that was nice, I got way too many phone calls this morning before I was ready to be awake. Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day. I have a doc appt., getting the new tables delivered, gym, and work.

Death by axe murderer???

I absolutely hate those nights where I fee really uneasy, and scared that I'm going to get chopped to death by an axe murderer. I didn't go to sleep until after 5 a.m. I just laid there. Then I still woke up around 10. Sometimes I really wish I didn't live alone.

Started some cleaning, around 2 I started my pot roast. I'm nervous that since I started it late and I had to cook it on high that it will be dry. I could always switch it to low, but then it wont be done till like 9. I got a call from the day care that T was sick, and to go pick him up. I felt so bad for him. He had a really bad fever, so I figured I would do something to make him happy. What better than a Happy Meal. I actually ordered a burger too. It was not very good, and it made me vomit. My brothers fiance picked up little man soon after we got back to the apt. I feel so bad for him, I hate seeing him like that.

No gym today, my legs are killing me right now. The guy is supposed to come over in about an hour. I'm just so tired, I was hoping to be a bit more awake tonight. Possibly going to an auction tomorrow. Who knows?

Finally the money to all my accounts has posted. I noticed that for my federal return it is about 300 less than its supposed to be. So we'll see what happens with the state, and if its not there I'll have to call the IRS again. I swear I hate talking to them. Just a thought, maybe I'll get part of it later because that is supposed to be how much my "stimulus" package is? So now I can finish paying off the cards, yippee!!!

Losing my cool

The not smoking thing is really starting to get to me. My jaw actually hurts from chewing so much gum. Not to mention I have bitten my tongue twice in the past two days. I still keep eating, also I didn't go to the gym. So here is my recap on the day.

• Woke up at 9, ate cereal
  

• dropped T off at daycare at 10
• went to Target
• Picked up tipshare from work
  
• picked Trendon up at 1 for a doctors appt.
• Ate, Arbys-so ashamed
• Doctors appt
• Brought T back to daycare
• Home Depot, I bought a star-key.
  
• Came home, snacked, played online.
  
• Continued to snack-almonds and dried Apricots
  
• Back to home depot, got paint swatches
• Went to Ear x-tacy and got 2 cds, and a movie that I love, "Once"
• Heine Bros Coffee, got my usual India Asaam Tea.
• Drove around
• Home again, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches
• Currently killing some Stride gum, while typing this.
• About to go watch Once with the guy at his place.

Those are the 4 colors I narrowed it down too. I put them on the cabinets to see what the contrast would look like. There are so many cabinets in my kitchen it is overwhelming. I like the pinkish/orange, and the olive the best.

Money miracles

So I have 3 different checking, and savings accounts. Then 3 different credit cards, and 2 separate investment accounts. That is a lot of checking up to do online... While searching for free apps for my iPhone I found Mint. Just go to the website and it shows you all your accounts, cash to debt ratio, budgeting tools, net worth, and ways to to save money based on your own spending habits. It is easily the best finance tool ever. HERE is the site. No lie, it rocks.

NOTE: You don't need the iPhone to use this. The iPhone app is just another way to check the site.

Besides that, I ran a few errands with the guy in the afternoon. After all that I went to pick up T from his moms. She wouldn't give him back to me, and since she doesnt have primary custody I had to call the cops. I also recorded my entire conversation with her and her drugged out brother and boyfriend. So I hope it will be admissible in court. My brother has been fighting so hard to get custody of my little man. He completely deserves it. The mom is a total druggie and just sucks at life.

Today was definitely the ultimate test. I haven't mentioned this for a few reasons. I quit smoking. It has been 5 whole days. Normally I smoke when I'm hanging out with friends. I really don't hang out with anybody anymore so I pretty much nixed that aspect. The second place I almost always have a cigarette in my mouth is while I'm in the car. So todays 1 1/2 hour car ride each way was rough. Especially on the way back. I was fuming mad. I keep munching on gum. I have noticed that I am eating more, which I'm really trying to note when I'm actually hungry and when I'm just trying to fill a void so I wont grab more food.

The main reason I didn't want to say anything is that I don't want to be one of those people that seems to quit every other day. So I wanted to make sure I could last more than a few days. I know that the carbon monoxide starts leaving your lungs within 24 hours, and the nicotine is completely out of the system in 3 days. The rest of it is all mental. It really is the mental part that kicks peoples asses. I know that I am strong enough to handle this....COLD TURKEY.


UPDATER: I can't stop eating, wtf. all my hard work at the gym is going out the window. tomorrow morning I'm going to dedicate at least 2 1/2 hours to kicking my ass into shape. I need more gum.

Sick Little Man

My brother left for his school in Mass. Same day that he left my nephew got sick. So I've been taking care of him. I gotta drop him off later before I go to work. I hate that I haven't been able to work out for the past few days. I feel so lazy. I spent most of last night on IKEA. Found some nice stuff, so when I have a bit of extra money I will buy. I need to hop in the shower in a couple of minutes. I really don't want to work, but I need money. I really just want to lay in bed today. I just hope that little man doesn't make me sick. I requested to get more day shifts, the schedule should be up today. I would like to be off on more nights. So maybe I'll get them.

I've spent the past 2 hours watching the food network. Then i made myself a grilled cheese sandwich, and some tomato soup. I did take down two seemingly good recipes though.

Die Another Day

Today had a late start due to yesterdays late end. I swear I didn't even want to move, it hurt. Don't get me wrong I love the slight stiffness I feel the day after a good workout. I'm pretty sure I overdid it some. Yoga 3 days in a row, water aerobics, and all the basic cardio. So today I am taking a break. I was going to do yoga, but then when I just attempted a single chatarunga on my living room floor I fell flat after about 2 seconds.


Breakfast was 1 cup oatmeal, 1 scoop chocalate protein powder, granola, and a whole banana. Half was already mixed in when I shot this.

Finally mailed my old NC license plates back to my dad to turn in. Stopped in Old Navy to find some black pants and white button downs for work. All the shirts made my boobs look odd. I bought two different pairs of pants, a new sports bra, and my favorite Sparkling Green Tea candles. I think tomorrow I'll go to New York & Company to look for shirts. They always have a good selection. Before leaving the mall I stopped and got some food. It was too spicy though. What is in the picture is what is left. I literally only ate 10 small bites. I love spicy food, but that was was way too much for me.

Left to get T from daycare. Stopped by my brothers work and ate half of my White Chocolate Macadamia Luna bar that was given great reviews by The Fitnessista. My nephew managed to eat about half of it. He even liked it. Thought it was a candy bar. I remember when any type of nutrition bar made me want to gag. They sure have come a long way.

I'm going to see Taken tonight, and gotta stop by Whole Foods to pick up a few things. I think I should get going then.

Fluffy Yoga

Today was nice. Started my morning off with a Cherry Pie flavored Larabar. This one was awesome. I am hooked. Had yummy mexican food with Paul for lunch. The chili rellanos (sp) wasn't great, so it became a leftover item. No pics, but I was very proud of myself for not eating any of the millions of free chips they give you. If only I had the same will power for those yummy rolls at Texas Roadhouse.

Picked up T from daycare early so we could hang out. I never really get to see him anymore so we had ourselves a good old time. He did that bouncy trampoline harness thing. He loves that. Got him an ice cream, and we got one of those 4 pack of pictures in a strip. It was fun, then we chilled and watched Diego together.

After Paul got off work, he took up little man and and I made my way to the gym. Did 40 on the cross-trainer on medium-high intervals. I then raced back downstairs grabbed my mat out of the locker and found my spot. I can't say that I was completely impressed. I figured since I haven't done yoga in an organized setting in over 2 months that it would be challenging. Thing is the instructor did a lot of fluff moves, like sphinx, and just a whole bunch of prayers, and sun-salutations. The last 15 minutes were the only challenging bit. I swear there only like 3-downward facing dogs, and chatarungas. I need to find a small independent yoga studio around town, I always like them better than over-sized generic classes.

After my workout I munched on a Nectar by Clif bar. Super yummy. Stopped to see my bro at his girlfriends house. They just got a Wii, I played tennis for 10 minutes and had to quit to let the kids play. Stopped by Heine Bros coffee and grabbed an India Assam tea. I've been telling myself to put away the laundry for over 2 hours now. I don't think it's going to happen till tomorrow.

Tomorrow I am going to try out my new Power Yoga with Dave Farmar podcasts that I have been hearing rave revues about. I'm not even kidding when I say that my Iphone is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Emotional Ramblings of the undead

I've got so much that I want to get off my chest. My day started off horribly. Managed to get up at 8. I was so surprised my nephew was still asleep. I put him to bed at 9 last night. So I spent the next HOUR digging my car out from underneath 8 inches of snow and half inch of ice. So got T in the car at 9:15 and then my car wouldn't reverse. So I spent another 20 minutes kicking the snow out from behind my tires. So that way my tires would stop spinning in place. The drive wasn't too bad. My neighborhoods roads were nothing but ice. After I got out it was fine.

I spent my day lounging around, not getting no sex. BOOO!!! I went to dinner with my bro and nephew. We went to Texas Roadhouse, I wasn't really hungry so I just got a side caesar, and sweet potato. Then I got conned into babysitting. I thought I was going to be miserable. I put on Diego, and we both fell asleep after about half an hour. I only got an hour nap out of it, tucked T into bed. Left, got gas and caught the last 20 minutes of Save the Last Dance.

You know what creeps me out. Those Turbo Tax commercials with the dead presidents, and Ben Franklin.

So I got a friend request this evening from my ex-roommate/ ex-friend, Daphne. I'm not entirely sure why our friendship ended. I'll be the first one to admit that I am not good with roommates. I like things my way, and am not too great at compromising. There were other factors that I'm sure all factored into her just packing up and leaving one day. I just wish that we could of talked through our issues. The thing is, I really cared about that friendship. We were great friends, there for one another, and up until that day she moved out.

This brought me to thoughts of other friends, or better yet, or lack there of. My best friend in the world is Ashley. I highly doubt that will ever change. I wish we could talk more though, sometimes. I've lost a few friends recently. I don't understand how those ended either. I guess with one, Kelly, we just kind of grew apart. Our lives moved in different directions. The thing is, I still made an effort. The other, Larissa, everything was great. Hanging out all the time. Though every time I leave the area I guess my phone number is magically erased from her mind, and I guess when I call, my ringtone is set to silent. I am a good friend. I am always there for my friends when needed, or just wanted.

I would just really appreciate to have some of my friends back in my life. That would be nice.

It Tuesday, not Wednesday

I confronted that guy yesterday, and I am summarizing what he said, but it boiled down to, "I dont see you like that, but I would still like to be friends". I really wanted to tell him to go fuck himself instead I took the high road and went with "I just can't be friends with you now, because I actually did like you". In all reality that is the truth. I am not good at remaining friends with guys I have dated or liked. I have two guy friends that have come from either of those situations. The rest I would never like to talk to again.

I really do hope that one day he will see he fucked up. That is highly unlikely though. I got to talk to my Ashley last night, and we talked through it. Also, I'm just happy to get an answer out of him. It wasn't really the one I wanted, but I am just glad that it happened. I am doing much much better today.

My morning started off pretty early. I had my very annoying alarm set for 8, and boy did it wake me up. Damn thing almost gives me a heart attack every time I hear it. Got up, did 1o minutes of stretching. My nephew didn't wake up till 8:30. So I immediately got him ready and then we headed to the gym.

I got very confused when I was at the gym. Got the schedule mixed up by thinking that today was Wednesday, not Tuesday. So I didnt get to attend the class I wanted. It is all good though, I am going to yoga tonight.

Came home, made some eggs for both me and little man. He got sausage as well, I had one bite, didnt like and gave it back. I was still craving something. So I grabbed me a small banana with apple butter.

Did a whole bunch more cleaning. I have come to realize that I clean up more after my older brother than I do my nephew. My little man is finally starting day care on Thursday. So I will finally be able to do all the errands that are just to inconvenient to do when I have him with me. As well as looking for a short-term job till I can my start my good one in March.

I have always sucked about taking my vitamins regularly, so I finally started taking my vita-packs from GNC. Every single one of those pills were ginormous. Also, I've already managed to get down about 60 oz of water today.

4 o'clock rolled around and I was hungry again. So instead of munching on my nephews Goldfish, i went ahead and julienned a small squash, added 3 asparagus spears, half can of chick peas, added 3 oz of tomato paste with oregano, thyme, salt, pepper,and paprika. Bake for 20 minutes. Topped off with parmesan.

Saving the Planet

I am doing my darn best to keep busy. I had a late start today, my nephew slept till 11, so I did as well. I ate a medium banana with apple butter. I got use my new eco-friendly laundry detergent. It smells super good. I got it from Whole Foods, I am really falling in love with that store. I really enjoy the fact that I am doing something good for my body, and the environment. I feel healthier, and it makes me want to keep on going. That has always been the number one motivator for me, results.

I couldn't get to the gym in the early afternoon because the kids care section closes at noon and doesn't reopen till till 5. So I just did a mini yoga session in my room. Just a few downward facings dogs, cobras, planks, chatarungas (sp), and goddesses. Followed up with a round of stretching and a Clif bar.

It was Apricot, and oh so yummy.

At around 7:30 after my brother got home I was able to go to the gym without having to lug my nephew with me. I did 45 minutes on the Cross-trainer, and 15 on the Stair-stepper. Its weird because as soon as I got out of the car my legs started aching from all the squats, and leg-lifts I did yesterday. After I was good and sweaty I stretched, then went and did my abs. They are still super sore from Sundays workout. I did 3 sets of 50 crunches on the 65cm exercise ball. 3, 1 minute bridges. Then 2 sets of this one where you lay down and pass the ball from your legs to your arms, almost touch the ground and then reverse. Did some obliques. I was aching so bad, so I stretched some more. Then I did 3 sets on my bi's and tri's a piece. I think I did 45Lbs for each one, not too sure. I felt the need for a little social interaction so I went and got an organic India Asam tea, from my favorite local fair trade coffee shop.

I was starving by the time I got home. I had made whole wheat linguine with a vodka sauce for lunch. My nephew ended up eating all of his, and polished off half of mine. I didnt mind. Anytime that I can actually get him to eat is a miracle. So after the gym I made a 3 oz packet of tuna, 1 tsp of vegainaise (like mayo, only egg-free and made with grape-seed oil), and some yummy relish. Anything pickle related is a weakness of mine.

It wasn't as pretty once it was all mixed together.

Crazy Productive

I started my day off with a bang. Woke up, made a healthy breakfast. 1 cup cottage cheese, with a small tangelo, and a few blackberries. My nephew had a mini omelette and turkey sausage.

After that we headed to Urban Active and I dropped him off at the play area. I only had time to do an hour on the cross-trainer, and then a 25 minute ab workout. Had to rush to get Trendon before I got scolded at again for picking him up after 12. Got there at 11:57. On my way out the kids area. I mentioned having to walk over to the Whole Foods Market and pick up some hummus. Ended up getting in a discussion about healthy foods with a guy.

Found the best tasting hummus ever, Roasted Red Pepper. Holy shit. I even got my nephew to eat some. Lunch was a small helping of my yummy hummus along with sauteed mushrooms, and green beans. I finally went and bought my new George Foreman grill. As expensive as that thing was it better be friggin amazing.

Not entirely sure what I am making for dinner, I do know that I have to be back at the gym by 7 to do my Zumba class.