RIBS

HI all, I'm trying to get back into the blogging. It just seems that I never have much to say about my uninteresting life. I've been keeping up with my work-outs. My back has been hurting pretty bad since my accident 2 weeks ago. Finally saw a doctor today, but I think she was a quack. So I'm going to go back to my orthopedist and see what he says. The one I saw today didn't even touch my back, and I didn't get a good vibe.

So I haven't been able to do my ab workouts, or pretty much anything but cardio. So it'll be a nice change of pace to start doing all the regular stuff.

I finally tried the Veggie Ribs my sister has been raving about. OMG, Claudia did not lie, they were absolutely delicious!!!!!



Haven't really eaten any exciting food in a while.

I got into a car accident on my birthday. It was right after dropping my sister off from seeing the movie The Proposal. Some guy didn't yield to oncoming traffic, incidentally I was the oncoming traffic, and he t-boned me on my side. My car was totaled. My little 98 Eclipse, I miss her so much. I now have a 08 Focus. Its got really low miles, and all the good features like; Sync, 6 disc changer, bluetooth. SO its the "top of the line" one. Its still a Focus though. It doesn't get a name. Getting attached to a car is very emotional. My Eclipse's name was Lucy, and we had 3 1/2 beautiful years together.



I had just gotten her a beautiful dark Cherry Red paint job about a month before the accident.



This is right after the accident. It doesn't THAT bad, but her B Pillar was bent and everything in the door was screwed up, and the glass shattered (all over me).

My dad drove me back to Louisville in his car since my accident happened in NC. I took him to my favorite Indian restaurant, Kashmir. He said it was okay. Then again, he had gourmet food, made by Indians for almost 3 1/2 years.

I'm also back down to my pre-N.C. weight. I always gain weight while I'm down there. I still ate decently healthy, but I just wasn't in my routine, and after the accident I had to stay in NC for 4 extra days, and didn't get to work-out. So now, I just need to finish losing the rest of my excess. I'm hoping it to be gone by early October. Just in time to cover up my body with large sweaters, haha.

I also quit one of my jobs the other day. It's all good. I've got an interview at somewhere other than a restaurant next Wednesday. So lets hope this pans out well for me.

Back in Action

Hi all!!! I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the obnoxiously long lack of blogging. Generally the only reason I get online is to blog, see what my friends are up to, and occasionally google something. I was too busy actually being with the friends to blog, so I figured my camera deserves a break.

My last post basically talked about the Kentucky Derby. It was a complete blast.

Last Tuesday, my first real day out of surgery I ended up going to a concert about 1 1/2 hours away to see Soulcrate and Mac Lethal (for the second time). They are very underground white hip hop artists. Their music is very unconventional but I love it.



That is Soulcrate



My friend Larissa whom I went up there with and Mac. The pic of me and him was ridiculously blurry (sad).

He actually remembered us from the last time he played in NC, but we didn't get to chill with him this time. He's got a new song out called Undertow which you can find right here. Once u get past the first minute, it gets really fun to dance to.

Nothing too exciting happened while I was home. My foot actually started hurting a bit yesterday. I had my flight back home today, because my follow-up with the ortho doc was today. I was really hoping they would finally take the pin out of my foot. No dice, all they did was look at it. If I'd known that, I would have had them push it back a week, and I would have spent another week back home. I hate to say it, but I miss home A LOT. I just know that I can't move back there. I get too lazy, too comfortable in my routine of pretty much having a paycheck to paycheck job. That is not what I want out of life. There is just so much more for me here, and I need to keep reminding myself of this.

Oh and here is a pic of my broken self



I'm not going to lie, I was not the healthiest eater in the world while I was home. I did manage not to snack though. I am very proud to say that I only gained 1 Lb while on my trip, and considering I usually put on 10 Lbs. I live this super healthy life-style here in Louisville and lose weight, just to gain it back there, then have to lose it again. Its a horrible cycle. I am hoping that I finally broke it.

I can't put absolutely any excess weight or pressure on my foot. Walking for any more than a few steps kind of sucks, not because its painful, but I'm just super slow.

I went up to the Home Goods store, and I was really needing a new quilt (bedspread) because my down comforter is entirely to hot right now. I found this awesome organic cotton one, with matching pillows too. Lots of light blue and green. I love it

Now I'm back here finally, laying on top of my own bed, and its pretty nice. I need to go to Whole Foods, almost my entire stock of veggies went bad while I was gone.

I was super hungry for my dinner,there was nothing that I could have really made besides spinach fett, and vodka sauce.



It was nothing special, but I figured I should at least include 1 food pic.

At Last

Hi everybody. I've had an awesome past couple of days. My parents came up to Louisville, and we all went to the Kentucky Derby. It rocked, my mom and I both wore a big hat.




It was an absolute blast. I lost $30 on betting. My mom actually bet on the biggest longshot, Mine That Bird; number 8, and actually won some decent money. That horse had the worst odds 50-1 out of the entire derby. My mom was so happy. If I'd known that Borel was its jockey I would have bet him too. Borel rode the horse that won in '07, and 3rd in '08. Its all good though.

Sunday was spent showing my parents some cool stuff in Louisville, and we actually went on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail a little bit. We stopped at Heaven Hill Distillery and got a tour.

We all learned some really neat things about Bourbon. For instance it can only be called Bourbon if its made in Kentucky, otherwise its just Whiskey. That is a small pic of one of the warehouses. Each warehouse holds 20,000 barrels. Each at 500 Lbs. There are 49 warehouses. Heaven Hill produces Evan Williams, along with Americas oldsest Bourbon Elijah Craig. We were going to visit the Makers Mark and Jim Beam distillery too, but we were running short on time.

Then at the end of the tour they take you to get two free shots. One was an Evan Williams 12 year, and the other was an Elijah Craig 18 year.



It was a very nice trip, and I was so glad my parents really liked Louisville, and they are very proud of me, for moving away and trying to do something with my life.

Yesterday was my foot surgery, and then we drove back to NC. My foot doesn't even hurt. They gave me some percocets. I don't like taking them, I hate the feeling of being on drugs. I'm going to go up to Kohls in a little bit with my friend Ashley to buy a pair of shorts. Then we are just going to lounge around and hang out. I'm glad to finally see my friends and family again. I can only stay till the 12th. I have to be back in Louisville on the 13th to see my orthopedic doctor again.

I'll update again soon. Promise this time!!!

Quickie

Today has been scattered as usual. I can't wait to have a "normal" schedule. For lack of internet, I had to go to the coffee shop and use their WiFi to post yesterdays blog.

Then it was off to see my Ortho doctor. He told me I can go back to the gym, just to take it slow. He said I'm free to elliptical it up, and take as many spin classes as my little heart desires. Nobody here knows the excitement radiating through my body. Bad news though. I'm getting surgery on my foot at the beginning of May, so I'll be in a walking cast, "boot" for about 3 weeks after that.

Work wasn't too bad. I made a conscience effort to be in a good mood. It ended up working and by the end of the night I really didn't mind being there.

Now I'm at my brothers dads' house in Indiana for the night. I'll be back in Louisville in the morning. Goodnight all.

Jingling in my pocket

I had a super Saturday, and I hope that yours was great as well. Today was rather exciting in my book. I signed the lease to my new apartment. HOORAY. I'm going over there tomorrow to take pictures, and measurements. My brother said he didn't like it. I honestly don't care though. The only things he ever likes are shiny and new. I was so excited when my landlady gave me the keys.

Afterward I went to eat lunch with my friend Rob. We went out to Bluegrass Brewing Company, BBC for short. I got a turkey burger, it had an apricot-chipotle sauce. It was A-MAZING!!!! Then we drove to a bicycle shop over the border in Indiana. I want a vintage looking, brightly colored bike. I was so afraid they weren't going to have any in my eclectic style. As soon as i walked in, I was like a kid in a candy store!!

I like this one best: Its an Electra Townie 7D. It is so perfect, I just have to save my money for the next month or so, and it will be mine.


I should of taken a pic of it in the store, but I swear my friend will think I'm a total weirdo, since I'm pretty sure he is unaware of my blog. There were even optional baskets, and other things. I could so picture myself riding my bike along Bardstown Rd. My apartment is very close, and parking is crazy in that part of town. I am not a very good parallel parker. We from the south have never had to really learn.

I later went to see my bro, we hung out and played Bingo. It wasn't that fun this time. I get too mad, when they don't call my numbers. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I do. I doubt I'll play again for a while.


Oh my goodness, I can't believe I almost forgot to mention this. I was offered almost the full PELL grant amount, and in addition to that another one, that pays for schooling to become a teacher. Which I would very much like to do. I would actually like to be a high school math teacher. I've always been good at it, and I figure I could be good at teaching it, and I would really like to make a difference. I'm so excited that everything is starting to come together.....FINALLY. Something else happened to me today that has me flying high on cloud 9, but you will have live through the suspense until it unfolds itself a bit more.
I'm going to curl up with my third installment on the Twilight series. Eclipse, I'm about halfway done already. I'm such an addict now, haha. Goodnight all. Pictures of the new apartment tomorrow. I promise

Blank Walls, Blank Canvas

Work today was simple and easy. I got a day shift, so I got off at 4:30. I spent some of my afternoon with Paul and Trendon. I am really beginning to miss home. I know it sounds sad and pathetic, but I just want to curl up on my moms couch and watch HGTV with her, or hang out on Larissas porch and SMOKE.

My only friend here is somebody that I sort of dated for like a month. He's a good friend to me, and I'm very thankful for that. Right now everything just seems so screwed up though. My legs are in PAIN, and I don't mean the take a couple days off, stretch, and motrin will take care of it, kind of pain. They hurt, and my insurance company is fucking me over. So now I'm trying to deal with them, and now since they are doing this shit. I'm going to apply for a med-board with the VA.



Every little thing I do hurts, pushing my clutch down, walking up my stairs, having to stand more than a few minutes. So at work I look for every opporotunity to sit that I can. I already know that I've got to stop on the cardio for a bit. I've got a doc appointment tomorrow, and one on monday or tuesday with my orthopedist. So we'll see what goes on. I'm also getting hell from my financial aid office at UofL. I swear, can I catch a freaking break?!?!?!?!?

I took down all the pictures and stuff from my walls. Started my decluttering process. I am getting rid of about half my purses. I'm also making sure to use up all the "almost empty" bottles of whatever from under my bathroom sink. Now is not the time for me to be wasteful.

I really want to tell my bosses to take me off the schedule for a week so I can just relax a bit, but I can't afford that right now. I also need to do it so I can take care of a whole bunch of errands. Like actually going to the VA, financial aid office, apartments.

I'm so freaking stressed out. I just want somebody here to calm me down, and tell me everything is going to be okay.

Oh, and its been exactly 1 month and 2 days since I quit smoking. Go me!!! I know that its stupid to base this on my current situation. But my life was in a lot better place when I was still smoking. My legs felt great, I wasn't having tons of money and apartment issues, I was still seeing the guy, before he turned into the friend. If anybody actually reads this, some encouraging, "dont smoke" calls should be coming from yall to me tomorrow.

Friendships....

I wish there was some type of proper guidelines on friendships. I seem to lose them all the time, as if we were walking down the street together and they fell down a man hole or something. Then others, seem to pop up out of nowhere.

So the guy and me are going to try to be friends. Seems to be working so far. He called me tonight and we talked. I was telling him about my living situation with my bro and how he is leaving to go to Ft. Stewart for a few months, and I'd have to come up with a LOT more rent money. Also, how I was looking for a roommate and posted an ad on craigslist. I really don't want a roommate, anybody who knows me, knows how well I do with them. So he recommended just looking for a much cheaper place. Which I did once I got home, and I talked to my bro about all this, and found out that he has official orders that send him down to GA. Therefore he can get out of this lease.

The whole lease thing was the main reason for my apprehension. I didn't want to leave and screw my brother with dealing foot the bill for that extra money. He is the only one on the lease, not me. So this way we can both safely get out. I already found a lot of great places that I put into a lovely spreadsheet by price, location, description, deposit fees, and whether they allow pets. Tomorrow me and Paul are going to talk about the apartment situation over lunch.

The guy is looking for a new apt as well. Its going to be pretty odd with both of us looking for separate apartments together. This is my first time trying to be friends with somebody I've been with, so I'm not quite sure on all the rules yet.

ANYWAYS

Yesterday I started my day off kind of late. Hit up the gym around 2, got in some cardio and then a pilates class. May I add that the pilates at my gym is much better than the yoga. I went to Kashmir and got the Malai Kofta, and a tandoori roti. It was delicious. I took a pic, but it is too blurry to even recognize.

Later I went to see Watchmen in IMAX. It rocked. After that is when all the bs from my last post happened.

Nothing exciting happened today. Got to see my little man T for a while. So that was nice, I got way too many phone calls this morning before I was ready to be awake. Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day. I have a doc appt., getting the new tables delivered, gym, and work.

Bad Day

Everybody has their good days and bad days. Today, for me, was a bad day. All the things that I normally push out of my head just flooded me today. Basically I just really miss my friends, and family. I don't have anybody to hang out with except the guy. That's another thing right there.

I get the very distinct feeling that he isn't attracted to me, and is therefore distancing himself from me. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm not. He is just so damn hard to read. I wish that if this were the case he would just be upfront with me. I honestly do like him. I just don't think he likes me. I would rather be alone, then be with somebody who is just being with me to pass time.

I know that being in Louisville will ultimately be better for me, but right now its hard.

I need a pick me up!!! So tired

Hooray for Saturday!!! Not really, I have to work late. I really detest my job, but I go in, and do what is required of me. I woke up at 8:45 this morning. Only a little over 6 hours sleep for me. I felt fine. For breakfast I made:



2 egg whites on Ezekiel Sesame bread with hot sauce. Then good old Emergen-C. Which I need to buy more of.

Off to the gym I went. I was on the cross-trainer for half an hour and noticed a whole bunch of people holding yoga mats filtering in. I checked the schedule and sure enough, I had enough time to go to my car, grab my mat and do my lovely hour long yoga. It still wasn't good yoga.

I really miss my old studio in Fayetteville. Om Yoga Studio was good. Katherine was my favorite teacher. I still need to make time to go do Bikrams. I'm already sure that I'll hate/love it. You know you absolutely just want to pack your stuff and leave in the middle of class, but you persevere and then at the end you're glad you stayed because you feel awesome. At least I get those feelings.

Came home did a bit of cleaning around the house. Then made this for lunch:

Clockwise from top: Spinach, spicy Kimchi, and Hummus.

My brother came and got his huge TV that I kept in my living room, and replaced it with a smaller 32 inch. The other was so much nicer, at least this one is a flat screen as well. Also, since it's smaller I could move the furniture around. I like this layout better. This is the one I'd wanted to do before, but couldn't due to the huge TV. Again, I'll post pics once the new tables arrive.

Time to get ready for work. BLAHHH!!! I really wish the guy would come visit me once in a while. That would be nice, doubt it though.

Project Desk: 101

Happy Hump Day!!! Oh, if that were true. Today was full of adventures for me, and pictures for you.

My day started off with a bowl of yogurt with grapes, granola, and goji mix-ins.


I worked on the desk. Then when the assembly portion was over I went to a few stores to get accessories for it. Stopped by Calistoga first and got the yummiest sandwich ever.


At Home Depot I returned a few things that I ended up not using on the desk project. I also bought two small plants. I will now be conducting an experiment to see how long it takes to kill them.

Then Big Lots, this store was not on the planned agenda but I saw it and swooped in. I am so glad I did, I bought an awesome rug for my living room. I will post pictures just as soon as the new tables arrive. Also some little decoration thingy for the table. Then for the piece de le resistance Home Goods. This is where I picked up an awesome lamp. I almost bought a similar one at Big Lots for $30 MORE. Haha, glad I didn't. A good pillow, picture frame, and chair. I also got some knick knacks for my kitchen. All in all the Home Goods store cost me $135. I didn't want a typical computer chair. I wanted some a bit more contemporary, and sleek.

So here it is

I have to admit that I am pretty darn proud of myself. It took forever. I went up to my work just have dinner with my bro. I get half off. Got a super yummy salad.



You can see my brothers greasy food on the left. My salad was spinach based, with a pinot noir shallot vinegairette. Topped with dried cranberries, walnuts, roasted corn, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, feta, and apple slices. All in all "pure heaven".

I did not make it home in time for my Bikrams yoga, its all good and well though. My arms and legs are pretty sore from yesterdays workout. I'm going to relax now and watch some lovely T.V.

Fluffy Yoga pt. deux

I felt like I'd been run over by a truck when I woke up this morning. That feeling eventually dissipated. I got a decent amount accomplished. I started off with a yummy 3 egg, spinach, asparagus, omelet that I wrapped in an Ezekiel tortilla. Topped with sour cream and hot sauce.


Then it was onto the mundane tasks that I've been putting off forever. For instance organizing all my files and putting them in a central location....a filing cabinet. Also, I put a second coat of stain on the soon to be built desk. It's starting to come along nicely. I'm excited for when it will be finished.

I went to Whole Foods for dinner. Got some super yummy food. Vegan sweet & sour "chicken", brown basami rice, some veggies, and temph. The temph was a bit odd but I ended up liking it.


After this it was time for the gym. I went to the yoga class. It was better than the last time I able to attend it at the gym. Still, I am completely unimpressed with it. They only have classes twice a week. Tues, and Thurs. This is the first Tuesday I've had off since I started, and I always work Thursdays too. I decided to check out a studio close by. They have a few different style bikrams, vinyasa, yin yoga, and a yoga core class. All of them are done in a hot room like traditional bikrams. I'm going to try it.

Its been exactly 14 days since I've quit smoking. I still haven't noticed the taste or smell difference. I can breathe better. I still want to eat all the time. I go for gum quite a bit still. I was in the car with my brother and he was smoking, all I wanted to do was just smoke one. I know that I would be back to my old habits if I even took one hit. So I abstained. I'm proud of myself for it. Its still going to be a long battle.

Now I'm just hanging out at the apt watching Boondock Saints. Gonna try to do one more load of laundry and go to sleep.

Money miracles

So I have 3 different checking, and savings accounts. Then 3 different credit cards, and 2 separate investment accounts. That is a lot of checking up to do online... While searching for free apps for my iPhone I found Mint. Just go to the website and it shows you all your accounts, cash to debt ratio, budgeting tools, net worth, and ways to to save money based on your own spending habits. It is easily the best finance tool ever. HERE is the site. No lie, it rocks.

NOTE: You don't need the iPhone to use this. The iPhone app is just another way to check the site.

Besides that, I ran a few errands with the guy in the afternoon. After all that I went to pick up T from his moms. She wouldn't give him back to me, and since she doesnt have primary custody I had to call the cops. I also recorded my entire conversation with her and her drugged out brother and boyfriend. So I hope it will be admissible in court. My brother has been fighting so hard to get custody of my little man. He completely deserves it. The mom is a total druggie and just sucks at life.

Today was definitely the ultimate test. I haven't mentioned this for a few reasons. I quit smoking. It has been 5 whole days. Normally I smoke when I'm hanging out with friends. I really don't hang out with anybody anymore so I pretty much nixed that aspect. The second place I almost always have a cigarette in my mouth is while I'm in the car. So todays 1 1/2 hour car ride each way was rough. Especially on the way back. I was fuming mad. I keep munching on gum. I have noticed that I am eating more, which I'm really trying to note when I'm actually hungry and when I'm just trying to fill a void so I wont grab more food.

The main reason I didn't want to say anything is that I don't want to be one of those people that seems to quit every other day. So I wanted to make sure I could last more than a few days. I know that the carbon monoxide starts leaving your lungs within 24 hours, and the nicotine is completely out of the system in 3 days. The rest of it is all mental. It really is the mental part that kicks peoples asses. I know that I am strong enough to handle this....COLD TURKEY.


UPDATER: I can't stop eating, wtf. all my hard work at the gym is going out the window. tomorrow morning I'm going to dedicate at least 2 1/2 hours to kicking my ass into shape. I need more gum.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Christmas came, it saw, and it went. My family is German, so we do a traditional German Christmas. All in all, we open our presents on Xmas eve. All the other stuff is not important to all those who arent German. As me and my sister and her boyfriend were all opening gifts. They were like this is awesome, after almost every gift. I honestly, did not like a single one of my gifts. It is the hands down winner as the worst christmas ever. I just wanted to sit outside, smoke my cigarettes while drinking jim beam and diet coke.

In the lovely 19 years of my existence, I cant believe my parents don't even get me at all. Simple things, things that they've known since I was 12. I hate anything that smells; lotions, candles, and of that shit I hate. I live in jeans and white t-shirt, year round. When it gets colder, my sleeves get longer. The only jewelry that I wear is my nose stud. Yes, there are the one or two times a month that I will put earrings on or dress kind of dressed up. Honestly, I am not at all comfortable doing it though. 3, maybe 4 hours max.

THINGS I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS

• scented soap
• two pairs of pajamas (I recall ranting to my mom about how I have 18 pairs, recently)
• A coat (again, I recall telling my mom & dad how I bought 2 this past year, I also have a very nice one from last year)
• Perfume-that I don't even like (they know I dont like it, they bought it for me before and I told them that)
• Jewelry- ugly jewelry in fact
• Pirates of the Caribbean 3- I dont even own 1 or 2, havent even seen the second one.
• Placemats- enough said
• Christmas Coasters-they know I hate xmas, again- enough said
• Sweater- from my sister, kind of nice
• Purse-Never going to wear it

About 5 minutes after my dad saw how miserable I was and brought me a shot of Jim, he then tells me he is giving my sister a $1000 for getting an A in her algebra class, when this is the 2nd or 3rd time shes taken it. Somebody please tell me when it will be my turn.

What the hell, this looks like something for gay pride. Its ugly as shit. what was she thinking

Holiday Hell

I am back in North Carolina. My house has 6, no lie 6 christmas trees. there are garlands, and xmas cards, and tons of truly amazing ornaments. Its all super beautiful, and I just want to run away. I've already gotten into 3 or 4 arguments with my dad over stupid things. He gets mad when I sleep in, I'm on vacation. I have every right to do it, for one day. I hate christmas, everybody gets so stressed out just trying to please everybody else, be jolly. In my opinion, unless there are young children, people should just save their money and go on vacation.

Right now, I just want to go back to my apartment, it doesnt have a single wreath or stocking, not even anything christmas smelling. I actually wanted to buy my godbaby Izzy a present. I saw the most awesome Ming Ming the Duck toy, it was $40, fuck that. I swear, if prices werent so inflated, maybe the American dollar would be worth more. Then America wouldnt be in such a horrible recession. I'm done ranting for now, I think.


FYI-Suicide rates severly spike during the holiday season. ......wonder why????